Oscar bashing

I'm still trying to get over the abysmal Oscars last night.

First off, gotta give props to Chris Rock (hosting) for being a beacon in an otherwise dreary and mostly forgettable affair. Favorite Rock moment came in reference to how some winners had to accept the awards toward the back of the theater:

"Next year they're going to give out Oscars in the parking lot. It'll be like a drive-through Oscar lane: Get your Oscar and a McFlurry and keep it moving."

Some things I won't soon, but might wish to, forget:

1. Antonio Banderas butchers the great "Al otro lado del Río". Great song, but you wouldn't know it by the shameful performance by "Senor I-Know-no-shame". And Santana? You're guilty by association. Thankfully, Jorge Drexler saved his song by singing it for his acceptance speech when it upset the field (justly, I might add.) Thank you Jorge! To try and further save face for the song, here's a playlist Oscar songs, featuring Jorge's gem. I just don't understand why the academy didn't have him sing it. Or, since she's singing everything else, why not Beyonce...

2. At what point did the Oscars become a Beyonce concert? Did Jay-Z go Suge Night on the Academy to get her in every performance (and to get Jack Nicholson's seat, 'sup 'zat?) It was interesting hearing her sing in French (for the song from The Chorus) but did we really need her out there with Josh Groban. What an odd and awkward pairing. Might as well had her as a backup dancer for The Counting Crows (or sing Spanish - she knows some shame.)

3. Oprah Winfrey giving the black power sign during Jamie Foxx's touching acceptance speech. She looked around and saw no one else had her back and quickly brought it down.

4. Hilary Swank stammering through one of the worst oscar speeches ever. Lowlight: said she was saving Clint for last - then that sentiment went right down the poophole with a thanks to her agent following her gush to Clint. 'Zat?

5. Also memorable was the pairing of the lovely pairs of latin actresses (Penelope Cruz & Salma Hayek) trying to pruh-non-sah all dah fun-ee sow-end meecks-uh-ers nay-ems. They could have a channel dedicated to that, and I would watch.

Until next year...