Big wheel keep on turning

Silly me. I always thought of sex as an intimate connection between two people, but Nip/Tuck has shown me to be completely naive.

Sex is a leisure activity (swinger club,) a weapon (Eden,) an occupation (Kimber and Matt,) an unrealized fantasy (Sean and Kate,) but ultimately, in the world of N/T, sex is (all of these things) a means to an end.

Poor, poor Eden... she didn't realize she was getting in over her head trying to blackmail Christian. Sorry girl, you don't play a playa. Even though Christian sold her down the river, I expect she'll be back for revenge soon enough, and not just to spill their secret. Speaking of keeping a secret, I'd like to call to attention the great use of Queens of the Stone Age's "The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret" to back Eden's blackmail efforts.

Eden may be gone for now, but she sure planted a jailbait flag in poor Sean's mind. Between that and Julia hitching through Lesbania, his head is too messed up to handle a relationship with Kate (Paula Marshall,) who's merely being dragged along for the ride on Sean's Big Wheel. They had their moment with the Eden schoolgirl fantasy -- amusingly backed by KC and The Sunshine Band's "That's the Way I Like It" -- but when you open the dark fantasy box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. In Kate's case, it's actually chocolate, and the swingers party spiked with African-Americans was too much for Sean to handle, as his safe word took on a panicked shrill: "Big wheel... big wheel... BIG WHEEL!" I can imagine seeing porn star Lexington Steele going at it up close could be a frightening experience.

Meanwhile, the meth-addled duo of Kimber and Matt again dragged the episode through the unwanted drama of their sad existence (although it was nice to hear them smoking to The Chemical Brothers' "Do it Again"). I was hoping with the move to LA we'd get a fresh start, but they only remind us of what was wrong with N/T the past couple seasons. While it was nice to see the generally wholesome image of John Schneider roughened a bit as porn king Ram Peters, it was a predictable turn to see Kimber turn to her only currency to feed her habit. Why anyone would want to see meth-head Matt playing sloppy bottoms in gay porn (First Time Fairies II,) is beyond me. He really should have stuck with it if only for the daycare -- because if there's one thing I've learned as a parent, when you're smoking meth, you need some kick-ass daycare.

Next week is one of creator Ryan Murphy's favorite episodes of all-time, as Christian talks Sean into opening McNamara/Troy's doors to film a reality series. Sounds like fun!

Playlist: Nip/Tuck - Episode 5.05

1. "Do It Again" - The Chemical Brothers - Matt smokes meth in the apartment
2. "The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret" - Queens Of The Stone Age - Christian performs nipple reductio surgery on Chaz Darling / Sean confronts Eden and Christian
3. "Feel Like Making Love" - D’Angelo - Sean and Kate have sex

4. "That’s The Way I Like It" - KC & The Sunshine Band - Kate plays out Sean's schoolgirl fantasy
5. "Fire" - Coco De Mer - Sean’s ‘back scratch’ repair surgery with Mr. Forest
6. "Makeda" - Les Nubiennes - Sean and Kate arrive at the swinger party
7. "Cleopatra In New York" - Nickodemus - Sean views swinger ‘house party’ experience
8. "Housewives Choice" - (Library Music) - Matt hallucinates clean apartment with lots of baby formula
9. "I'm Gonna Lock My Heart (And Throw Away The Key) [Madison Park Remix]" - Billie Holiday - Sean admits to Christian that he broke up with Kate
Compiled by Avalon at NipTuckforum.com

Previously: The Eagle Flies at Dawn (Episode 5.04)