Teddy Bear Teeth

This week's Nip/Tuck put teeth on a teddy bear -- both figuratively and literally. Colleen (Sharon Gless) sure showed some teeth this week, both in her Teddy Bear craftsmanship and her murderous turn to keep Sean as a client. But more on that later.


The flesh of the weak is the food of the strong
Shishio Makoto, Rurouni Kenshin

The patients this week were doe-eyed newlyweds who, it turns out, turned to cannibalism to survive their honeymoon. The husband, Kyle (played by Jeff Hephner, who we last saw on The O.C. as Matt, Seth's comic book partner,) served himself as an appetizer, and the surgery to repair him featured just enough bars of Total Coelo's eighties oddity "I Eat Cannibals (Pt. 1)" to illicit a laugh, before tastefully moving on. Wife Lanie -- played by Lily Rabe, the daughter of Jill Clayburgh -- feels so guilty about eating part of her husband, so she offers up some of her own rancid flesh for her husband in post-op, making him sick. The surgery to repair her flesh offering naturally featured Billy Idol's "Flesh for Fantasy." It must've been a hoot picking music for this episode.

Meanwhile, Christian deals with a couple instances of teddy bear teeth. First, in a dream, he tries to break the news to Wilbur that baby's mama is dead, straight up, no chaser:

Mommy's not coming back because Daddy killed her. Daddy was horny, and tired, and mommy offered him cheap sex and well, basically, I screwed her off the balcony.

To which 3-year old Wilbur eventually replies, "mom's a skank." It was only a dream, but there were some serious teeth on both these instances when hugging a teddy bear was called for. It's certainly not uncommon for 3-year olds to act out dealing with a changed environment, so Wilbur being accused of biting his classmates felt very real. Our (nearly) 3-year old is still battling nightmares over the recent death of our family dog, and it's a tricky thing, to pull all the teeth out of such terrible news. Let's just say giving a puppy -- who's teething, no doubt -- to sooth Wilbur's baby mama grief is NOT the answer.

Next up is Gina's funeral, which starts out as a classy affair, set to Handel's "Sonata No. 6 in G Minor", but when the eulogies start, it turns into something entirely different. Her Sexaholics Anonymous cohorts don't hold back when discussing her prowess in the sack. "She gave the rim job of a lifetime" confesses one, while the leader later admits, "I'm going to be whacking off to those memories." These eulogies definitely had teeth!

But back to Colleen -- Sharon Gless again owned every scene, taking Colleen from kind old Jewish aunt in big glasses to her murderous extreme and back again. I loved that she had her own build-a-bear factory in her tiny apartment, and the Agent Teddy Bear (with teeth) was a nice touch, both commenting on the cannibalistic nature of the business and visually tying the episode together. But stuffing Bob the CAA agent to "Me and My Teddy Bear," while another fine instance of teddy bear teeth, was way over the top. That's something for Hearts & Scalpels to parody in an upcoming episode for sure (or appear in a collection of horror stories.)

Next week, we get a 80's Ladies night, with Joan Van Ark and Donna Mills from Knots Landing, Shari Belafonte from Hotel and Deb Shelton from DePalma's Body Double.
"The eighties never left" - Ryan Murphy.

Playlist: Nip/Tuck - Episode 5.11
1. "Prelude No. 22 in B Flat Minor, BWV 891" - Johann Sebastian Bach - Sean & Christian discuss Gina
2. "I Eat Cannibals (part 1) - Total Coelo - Sean & Christian perform Kyle's surgery
3. "These Boots Are Made For Walkin' - Nancy Sinatra - Sean performs Colleen's hammer toe surgery
4. "Sonata no. 6 in G minor Larghetto" - George Frideric Handel - Sexaholics Anonymous members deliver eulogy at Gina's funeral
5. "Me And My Teddy Bear" - The Tinseltown Players - Colleen stuffs Bob Levitz like a Teddy Bear
6. "Flesh For Fantasy" - Billy Idol - Sean & Christian perform Lanie’s surgery / Christian discusses Wilbur’s teacher
Compiled by Avalon at niptuckforum.com

More: Sharon Gless' wrap present to Ryan Murphy was a Teddy Bear with a noose around it's neck.

Previously: Possession and The Other One-Tenth (Episode 5.10)